What was truly important
by Yui-chan12
Summary: Gon wasn't surprised, when he heard Killua's matured voice from the other end of the line. He asked if Gon was at home, because Alluka insisted on visiting Whale Island, and going there only made sense, when Gon's there too, so he can show them around. Atleast that was what Killua claimed.


_You should enjoy the little detours to the fullest, because that's where you'll find the things more important than what you want._

The call came sudden, but thinking back, it wasn't unexpected at all. An unkmown number flashed on the screen of his old beetle shaped phone, yet Gon knew. He wasn't surprised when he heard Killua's matured voice from the other end of the line. He asked, if Gon was at home, because Alluka insisted on visiting Whale Island, and going there made only sense, when Gon's there too, so he can show them around. Atleast that was what Killua claimed.

* * *

><p>Yet, after the two Zoldycks arrive and introduce Alluka to Mito-san and Grandmother, the youngest of them turns to Gon and says with a bright smile: "I've played enough with Onii-chan for now, so you can have him back!"<p>

As expected, Killua flushes bright red at this declaration, and is more than ready to lecture his sister:

"H-Hey! I've told you, this is not..." _This is not something for you to decide! Besides I'm not something to own!_He wants to say, but the words get stuck in his throat when he sees his friend stepping to Alluka, grabbing both of her hands and looking straight into her eyes as he says: "Thank you!" And his words are full with raw gratitude and so many other emotions, Killua feels his heart clench, especially when all Alluka does is squeezing Gon's hands back and smiling, as if she understands (and probably she really does, Killua realizes, he was never been able to fool her, no matter how hard he'd tried). He has to look away to get back some of his composure and will away the tightness in his throat, because they're looking at him, probably waiting for his response, for his approval.

"This isn't so simple Alluka, you know that." He says after he thinks he'll sound calm and composed.

"But Onii-chan...!" She whines as expected, and tugs on the sleeve of his shirt.

"No buts!" He glares at her what earns him a pout, but he doesn't let himself get swayed. He lets out and exasperated sigh. "We'll talk about this later. I said, _later!_" he repeats firmly when Alluka opens her mouth to complain.

Ignoring his sister's pouting he finally turns to Gon, who just stood there in silence the whole time. His gaze is still full with emotions and Killua tries to ignore the painful clenching feeling in his chest.

"What should we do till lunch? Do you know any good places nearby?"

At this question both Gon and Alluka light up, and the previous topic is dropped for now, when Gon starts to list up the places they could visit. Still, from the look the island boy gives Killua, he knows, he won't get away with this so easily.

* * *

><p>After lunch they visit the town and the harbor, and right after getting back to Gon's, Mito-san surprises them with a huge bucket full of sandwiches and snacks, so they decide to have a picnic. While Killua finds more joy in all the delicious sweets Mito-san has prepared, Alluka is more happy with all the colorfull flowers around them. It's not easy to tell who is more excited: Gon or Alluka, but either way, Gon points at whichever flower he notices and talks a lot about it, and Alluka listens eagerly to his explanation or nods proudly, if it's a flower she knows about.<p>

Later Gon teaches Alluka how to make flower crowns, and soon the're both making some. Gon makes Killua one too, who pulls a face when Gon puts the crown gently on his hair. Nonetheless, Killua watches them with a fond smile on his face, the two most precious people in his life. When they get tired of flowers and all three of them have their own crown, they just talk about whatever comes to their minds: the places they saw on their journeys, stories about their mutual friends, interesting things and happenings from all over the world.

It is a truly peaceful and happy afternoon, what it makes both boys realize: they missed each other so much more than they thought they did.

* * *

><p>The campfire they set up crackles peacefully in front of them, casting dancing shadows on them as they sit on the edge of the same cliff they did years ago.<p>

Though it took Alluka almost an hour to persuade her brother, that _Yes, she is completelly fine with staying at home with Mito-san and Grandmother, the two of them can spend some time alone, no, she wouldn't mind, YES, SHE IS SURE ABOUT IT_; the two boys went off to the forest after returning from their picnic and giving Mito-san and Grandmother the flower crowns they made for them. Gon and Killua darted from tree to tree, racing to the cliff where they sat now, competing against each other in fishing.

Now that they finished eating, the two friends sat back and looked up at the evening sky full with shining stars.

Gon looks at his side at the boy sitting beside him: the fire paints his pale skin and snowy hair orange while thousands of stars shine in his blue eyes. His body is still lean but more muscular than Gon remembered, his features sharper and cat-like. Killua turns his head and their gazes meet, an eyebrow raises up in question upon noticing Gon's stare.

"What?" He asks after a few minutes of silence.

"Killua" Gon starts and his tone makes the adressed raise both of his eyebrows in mild bemusement, but he remains silent, "I think it's still fun to be with you." Gon finally continues leaning towards him with a dead serious expression. Killua sits there in silence for a few seconds, staring back blankly at the black haired boy, and when the words sink in, he instantly backs away raising up and arm in defense, cheeks tinted pink at the sudden bold declaration.

"What's up with you so suddenly?!" He huffs embarrassed.

Instead of answering Gon bursts out in laughter, tears form in the corner of his eyes, because this reaction was so typical Killua, and almost the same like back, when they first came here together. He can't stop laughing even when Killua smacks him on the arm and grumbles _Stop laughing at me, idiot!_

"Sorry, sorry" Gon breaths after a while, wiping his tears and flashing a not-so-apologetic grin at his friend, whose face is red from anger or embarrassment, Gon can't tell which it is, maybe both. This only earns him an annoyed _Tch_ from Killua, what makes him giggle again, though he stops right after recieving a piercing side glare.

"Not much has changed, huh?" Gon says breaking the silence.

"Seems so" Killua nods and looks back at the sky.

They sit in silence again, both of them knowing just how many things have changed. They spent years separated, going their own ways, growing stronger and maturing, and even though so many time gone by, when they reunited for short periods, there were so many things, that made it difficult to stay together, but even more, that made it difficult to part ways again.

"Once Ging said" Gon starts being the first one to talk again, and Killua listens - Gon would talk often about his old man, and it was a less dangerous topic than the changes in their lives; "I should enjoy the little detours in my journey, because I'll find there the more important things than what I originally wanted." They both looking at the sky, processing the words of the famous Hunter. Gon then turns to face his best friend once more and smiles, when he is met with a curious look. Taking in the sight of the white haired boy as he sits there in a loose V-necked tank top and baggy shorts and _more beautiful_than Gon ever saw or remembered him, he thinks: _Ging was right. What was truly important came to me before what I wanted._

"I think he was right" Gon says out loud, a soft smile making his way on his face, "I only wish, I would've realized this sooner, not when it was too late already."

He watches Killua, as the boy frowns not understanding what he meant, his expression then changes into an incredulous look when he processes the words. The white haired boy just gapes at Gon, _there's no way_ he implied what Killua thinks, it's just his wishful thinking, nothing more. But Gon looks him directly in the eyes like always, the fire making amber eyes burn with more passion, and it makes his chest throb painfully.

Killua swallows and stares at the fire in front of them - he can't handle Gon's intense look and it's easier to breathe this way too. He knows, he should say something, but his throat feels so dry besides he isn't even sure, that he could say anything without his voice sounding weak, and he doesn't want Gon to know how much his words have affected him (though he is sure his friend knows already).

"Don't be ridiculous!" he manages to bite out, his voice is calm and smooth and sounds sufficiently annoyed.

"But I mean it!" Gon's voice makes it clear how much Killua's dismissing words have hurt him.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever" Killua brushes it off and literally _feels_ Gon deflating beside him.

The island boy stares at him for a few minutes, searching for something on his friend's face, and Killua is sure, if he'd look back at him, Gon would find some answers or anything, Killua doesn't want him to know about, so the white haired boy stubbornly stares at something in front of him, but can't really make out anything. Gon gives up in the end and also turns his attention at something else - that's when Killua dares to take a deep breath and closes his eyes for a moment. The air around the felt heavy now.

He knows very well, that he was rude and childish - Gon opened up to him again, and so many times before too, but he always acted like he doesn't care. It was hard enough to be by Gon's side even when Alluka was with them, Gon's affection, kindness and his whole self was suffocating - it was so genuine and so _Gon_. It always made it hard to separate from him but to stay by his friend's side as well - Killua couldn't allow himself to get swayed by this attitude, He'd leave himself bare and vulnerable, and he can't do that - not again. He still remembers all the pain and suffering, what was far more painful than any of his childhood tortures, these words: _I take him down alone. It has nothing to do with you._ He can't forget them. And yet... this was his first friend, his best friend, his light, _Gon_... _I'm gald i got to meet you. It has to be Killua. I mean it._ Killua barely stiffles a sigh, he feels conflicted, but he can't do that, he shouldn't, but it's Gon, he could end up hurt again, but it's Gon, he doesn't want to make the same mistake twice, _but it's Gon..._

A loud, drawn out sigh brings him back to the present and he starts to percieve his surroundings again - the forest is buzzing lively behind them, different animals hunting for prey, the fire crackling in front of them and the stars shine as bright as ever. Though last time he sat here with Gon, it looked so endless and monumental but not threatening at all - it held possibilities, promised thrilling adventures and secrets to discover. Now it looks wide and intimidating, it makes him feel small and helpless, with no choices left.

"You know" Gon breaks the awkward silence again, and Killua listens without looking at him, "Ging told me about the rule I have to follow, when I apologize to a friend."

There it is, topic number two, what makes things uncomfortable between them. Killua would really like to forget, to not think about it, but always ends up remembereing, and Gon bringing it up almost every time doesn't help either.

"I thought we're over this" Killua sighs. "You apologized to me so many times already, what else do you want to do?"

Gon looks at him, Killua sits with his legs pulled up to his chest, and although he looks with a nonchalant expression at the fire (not at him), Gon can feel, that they're not over it. _Killua_ isn't over it.

"Sure, I apologized to you" Gon nods, "But that was only the first part of the rule. Ging said, I also have to promise, that next time I do better, and I have to keep this promise no matter what it takes."

"And?" Killua finally glances up at him.

"And I want to do things better this time."

"What stops you?"

Killua's feigned indifference starts to irritate him, but he feels more hurt. Killua acted like this every time they'd met and had some time alone, he just brushed off Gon's words, didn't let them reach him. Gon can't blame his friend for this, how could he, it just shows, how much he actually hurt Killua back then. But exactly this is why he wants Killua to understand: he changed, and he won't hurt him again. Still, he never thought it would be this hard.

"You're not letting me."

He watches Killua, as the boy slowly straightens himself and finally turns to look at Gon - his mouth a fim line and his eyes cold like ice.

"What the hell, Gon? Are you saying, it's my fault?" He hisses.

"That's not what I meant!" Gon shakes his head vehemently. "And it's my fault actually..."

"Then what do you mean?" Killua asks ignoring Gon's last sentence.

"I mean... I could keep my promise, if we'd stay together." Gon grits his teeth when he sees Killua rolling his eyes in response. He never thought his friend would react so negative at his words.

"I can't go on adventures with you anymore, I have Alluka, you should know that by now" Killua says in an impatient tone.

"I know that!" Gon huffs. "But you heard her, she wouldn't mind if I stayed with you, and together we could protect her from your brother better."

Killua opens his mouth to answer but closes it immediatelly, when he digests Gon's words. His expression becomes stiff as he looks at Gon with narrowed eyes.

"Who told you about that?" He asks threatening.

"That's not important. They didn't want to say anything, I was the one who pressured them to tell me. So don't be mad at them."

Now it's Killua's turn to grit his teeth and he shakes his head, probably thinking, that this was so like Gon, and he was right.

"So what?" Killua grumbles after a short pause.

"I want to help you of course!" Gon says with a determinated look, his hand curls into a fist. Killua looks at him, then back at the fire, his eyes falling shut as he takes a deep breath. He did that a lot since they're here, Gon notices.

"That's very nice, but this is my problem, and I..."

"SO WHAT?" Gon says, shouts this time, cutting of Killua midsentence and shocking his friend with his sudden outburst. He promised himself he'd be more patient, but the white haired boy's dismissive attitude made him go desperate. "So what if it's your problem?" He continues looking straight into Killua's widened eyes. "I want to help you, _because_ it's your problem. Because you need help. Paying back Hisoka, winning Greed Island, avenging Kite, finding Ging, these were all my problems, yet you helped me all the time! It's thanks to you, that I'm here, you went through so many trouble to save my life, even after everything I did. Of course I'd want to help you. You did so many things for me..."

"Friends owe each other nothing!" Killua interrupts, but can't say anything further, because he gets also interrupted by Gon:

"I know that! But it feels so frustrating, that I can't do anything for your sake! What kind of best friend does this make me, huh?" He punches the ground, the impact makes some branches fall over in the campfire. They just sit there staring at each other, the fire casting shadows at their faces making Gon's look wilder and Killua's more shocked. Gon inhales slowly and his angry frown changes into a sad one, as he prepares himself to ask Killua the thing, he wants to know since a long time, but is afraid of the answer.

"Am I such an unreliable friend, that you don't want my help?" His voice sounds broken, even though it's unintentionally. He sees Killua wince - his friend looks at him with gaping mouth and he's trembling too, his eyes are still wide and filled with disbelief, despair and panic; he looks shaken and_ vulnerable_.

"That's not... that's not true, I..." He whispers and buries his face into his palms. Gon has never seen him like this and despite his own insecurity it makes him feel sick. He reaches out to comfort the teen somehow, but then Killua moves his hands to grab his hair and lets out a loud and angry groan. He does this so suddenly, that Gon jolts and pulls his hand back in an instant, not that he makes Killua angrier.

"You stupid idiot!" Killua snaps at him, and Gon is more familiar with this irritated expression, though he is totally confused by now. The white haired teen huffs and looks away the way when he is flustered.

"I... I... You... you're my friend, and... so..."

"So?" Gon urges him to go on, what makes a small blush appear on Killua's face.

He struggles to find a way to complete his sentence, he fidgets and looks anywhere but in Gon's direction. The island boy can guess what makes Killua so embarrassed, he can't probably bring himself to ask for Gon's help, or doesn't know how he should do that. Gon feels his chest heating up and he can't stop himself from smiling. He scoots closer to Killua, who stops the fidgeting and glances up at him warily.

"Then" Gon starts, wanting to help out his friend, "Let me be a good friend and help you protect your sister. Let me prove you, that I will do things better, and won't do the same mistake again!"_ Let me stay by your side again_, he doesn't say out loud, but he is sure Killua understands.

Killua swallows, his mouth feels dry as he looks into bright and determined eyes. He feels the rest of his resolve crumble, and he hopes, he won't regret his decision, when he nods in acceptance.

Gon's features light up immediatelly and he holds up his pinky to Killua, who curles his own pale finger around the tan one. They make a promise, Gon happily chanting the phrase and Killua waiting resigned for Gon to finish, then they press their thumbs together in a kiss - the promise is now sealed.

* * *

><p>They get back home quite late, Alluka went already to bed, Mito-san and Grandma cleaned up the kitchen after dinner. The boys grab something to eat as well, then Killua excuses himself and goes to take a bath first, while Gon helps Mito-san to wash the dishes. After they finish, Gon gives both women big goodnight kisses and goes upstairs to his room too.<p>

The lights are still on, as he steps in, and he thinks Killua waited for him, when he looks over at his bed and barely manages to stiffle a laugh. The sight that greets him is so familiar and nostalgic, that he still chuckles softly while he closes the door behind him. He sees Killua sleeping, lying on his back, his arms spread, one leg bent and the other stretched out on the matress. He snores quietly - _in Gon's bed._ There is another matress on the floor, the sheets and pillow lying on it in a messy heap. Gon laughs softly and shakes his head, _this is so Killua,_ he thinks for the second time this night. He watches his friend sleeping peacefully and his legs move on their own. And as much as he tries to get closer without making noize, he steps on that floorboard, that creaks very loudly, no matter how careful one's step is, and Gon winces, when Killua jolts slightly at the sudden noize. He waits for a few seconds, not even daring to breathe, but Killua only turns his head a bit to the side while mumbling something under his breath, exhales loudly, but remains asleep. Gon sighs in relief and closes the distance between him and the bed, standing now by his friend's head. He smiles fondly at the sleeping teen, reaches out to sweep stray curls of snowy hair from that peaceful face, watches long, black lashes flutter at the touch.

He knows he was being selfish once again, but he can't let Killua go, doesn't want to let him go. He leans in to press a feather-light kiss on Killua's forehead, "I missed you" He whispers, still lingering close to pale skin.

When he straightens up and turns to make a bed from the mess Killua left behind, he doesn't see Killua's mouth twitching, misses the bright red blush, that spreads across pale complexion.

And the white haired teen is really glad for that.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N.: <strong>I can't believe i finished this fic, good grief! It took me a month or so, and it's ridiculous, because whenever i sat down to continue with it, i never could write anything decent. And then when it was 1 AM already, inspiration striked, and i couldn't stop writing (but i had to, because it was so late already and then next day was school and duties etc. etc.)

I'm still not over the fact, that the anime has ended, and i'm never going to get over THEIR SEPARATION LIKE NO.  
>Ging's line at the end destroyed me, especially, when Gon thought about his friends, ABOUT KILLUA as the more important things in his life GAH (And did you notice, that the first thing Gon remembered about Killua was HIS BLUSHING FACE?)<br>So, i really think Gon found the more important things while looking for Ging, and it saddens me so much, that he realized this after they parted with Killua...

(If there are typos or any strangely built sentences, let me know, i typed this late at night - again orz)


End file.
